The question of suffering continues to taunt us when we ourselves go through insurmountable anxiety about its inability to heal a particular type of disease. I ask this question often why is this suffering now? Why is this infirmity at my tender age or very active age? Why do I deserve this particular type of treatment when I should be active in the world outside? I’m tormented by these questions now and then when relapse of my disease Ulcerative Colitis takes place. I go through this mental and spiritual struggle when I’m back to square one where medicines are not acting the way they should. These questions leave me in a bit of despair and distress but with a hope that I might be able to find a few answers to them. However, I must find a way out with my convincing answers, which help me see meaning in all these things.
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I've come across many who especially people who are close to God or very much rooted in the Faith. And I also believe that they are the ones who go through a lot of physical pain and afflictions in various ways. God allows them to heal others, through that Faith but then doesn't heal the suffering of the same person who reaches out to others.
I believe that God heals, but I also believe that healing is not always the only path that He chooses for us. Sometimes His perfect plan for our lives is to allow us to suffer and experience disease, illness, and hardships in every way.
We must realize that sometimes it’s just not God’s plan to heal or to fix a problem quickly for us. And that’s ok. He still loves us. He still has a plan. And He still has a profound purpose for that pain that can end up blessing us beyond anything we could ever imagine.
Often God chooses to heal! But sometimes He teaches us more and draws us closer when we walk the dark mile of suffering. God is good. And in control!
Amen !
Father,I was so bummed to hear about your suffering and pain. And I understand how scared you were and your fear was making you feel very anxious. Father, I really wonder how you withstand your pain and agony. Let
me tell you the words of St.Alphonsa, moulded her very life that was full of trials and tribulations.
Once I happened to meet a lady on my journey. She spoke so much about her fate and asked, "Why does God punish me in this way?" "Is suffering a punishment?"
Yes,St.Alphonsa's life was the answer to this question of suffering,"Why is this suffering now?" Dear Father, as we all know, she was in the battlefield of suffering for 36 years. She proved that suffering is not a punishment but a blessing. Suffering is an inevitable reality in human life. God in human form has sanctified it, and Saints have practiced it in their lives, though the natural tendency for all of us to avoid it at any cost.
" The grains of wheat are crushed and ground to obtain white flour; when it is baked,it is transformed into the Host for the Holy Eucharist. In the same way,we must be crushed and ground and transformed by suffering like the Host." Talking about her suffering she says,"My hidden life (suffering) has given me new form and a hundred fold." She moves on to say,"In the process of pain, my 'SCARS' became 'STARS' and that is the secret I want to teach you because:
Life is a battle
Fighting you die
Dying you win
Winning you live.
Please do remember, There are hidden drop of water among the dark clouds; there are hidden buds among the thorny bushes of roses. The sufferings once considered as a punishment can be seen as a blessing when we listen to God's words.
I'm praying for your miraculous healing,speedy recovery and continuing sound health. Take courage. You will be alright.
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