One of the things that I noticed in my own life quite recently is that how the passing away of your dear one affects your life without its many expressions. When my mom left this world on the 7th of February 2019, I was with her holding her. Even though, her passing was so quiet, peaceful and graceful, she had come to that stage with a lot of pain and suffering, leaving her with many questions which she did not hesitate to share. One of such questions was, “why God is not taking me from here?”
The serenity with which my mom breathed her last left in me, too, a grace, a sense of thankfulness and peace. I said to myself, mom has done everything she had to do in this world as God’s beautiful creation, moreover, she has taught me what I am. Through her suffering I too learnt what that suffering is. Offering oneself to God was the only way out in all the suffering. Nothing else.
(With mom on my Ordination day 28 Dec 2008)
I experienced the great pain of my mom’s passing after 30 hours; the day of her funeral. I could not control myself the grief and inner sorrow. The very thing that came to my mind again and again was, now on I will not see mom and will not hear her voice again. I will not have her phone calls which I did every alternate day. I will not have her presence henceforth to make me comfortable at home whenever I reach my native place.
At a fairly young age, I left my country because of the kind of life I chose, that is to be a Jesuit and to be "sent". On my rare home visits from abroad to my family home were full of joy. Mom prepared the dishes that I would not get elsewhere. She made a special point to ask. She prepared pickle for me so that I could carry to Russia and have sometimes at my meals; this was also appreciated by my fellow Jesuits in Moscow. Probably, in the life of a priest and the kind of life he lives as a consecrated person and single either his mother or sister become very dear and near to him. Certainly, I am not immune to that mystery of life. Perhaps the attachment that I have towards my mom will be part of my life let I take any vow of renunciation. Nevertheless, I should turn to a Church Father to whom his mother meant a lot in his life, not only bringing him forth into this life temporal but also praying for him so that he too becomes part of her faith and life of salvation.
Very interestingly St Monica, the mother of St Augustine, talked to her son at her deathbed on the island of Ostia regarding her funeral: “Lay this body anywhere, let not the care for it trouble you at all. This only I ask, that you will remember me at the Lord's altar, wherever you be.” (Confessions IX, 11).
This is what St. Augustine writes about his mother after many years of her death in his book “Confessions”: “And when we were at the Tiberine Ostia my mother died. Much I omit, having much to hasten. Receive my confessions and thanksgivings, O my God, for innumerable things concerning which I am silent. But I will not omit anything that my soul has brought forth as to that Your handmaid who brought me forth—in her flesh, that I might be born to this temporal light, and in her heart, that I might be born to life eternal. I will speak not of her gifts, but Yours in her; for she neither made herself nor educated herself. You created her, nor did her father nor her mother know what a being was to proceed from them.” (Confessions IX, 8)
Furthermore, the good son, Augustine enumerates the virtues of his holy mother: “She had been the wife of one man, had requited her parents, had guided her house piously, was well-reported of for good works, had brought up children, as often travailing in birth of them (cf. Galatians 4:19) as she saw them swerving from You. Lastly, to all of us, O Lord (since of Your favour Thou sufferest Your servants to speak), who, before her sleeping in You, (cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:14) lived associated together, having received the grace of Your baptism, did she devote, care such as she might if she had been mother of us all; served us as if she had been child of all.” (Confessions IX, 9).
There is nothing more to add. St. Augustine speaks for us all.
- Olvin Veigas
25th March 2019
The Feast of Annunciation
- Olvin Veigas
25th March 2019
The Feast of Annunciation
1 comment:
"A Mother is our first friend, our best friend and our forever friend."
"Mother's love I realise is the highest of all Vibrations." It's true that We all love our Mothers unconditionally. If we miss them once,we miss them forever. Each word of this article you experienced with Mom, touches the heart to the very core and keeps reviberating within me. I could feel how much you loved your mother and how it took you to the bygone years where you and your mother could have all the time between yourselves and chat to your hearts content. I have no words enough to describe how I am shaken and panicked to know what's our life without our Mothers. My heart melted like an ice-cream bringing tears at the thought of how much our mother's loves us and my gaze turned again and again to your article amidst other thoughts about mother. Thank you Father for making me and others to love our Mothers unconditionally. My heartfelt condolences to you and I promise to pray for your mother's soul now and forever. I love her so much much. May her soul rest in peace Amen.
Post a Comment