Openness to See the Goodness in Others: My Saintly Aunt Karmin

Often relatives do make a great impact on our lives. When our close relatives who have made a difference in our lives, leave this world we notice the difference. Karmin - Konkani version of Carmel - (Veigas) Mascarenhas (1927-2018) is one of them. She lived her life to the full. She lived good 91 years; a year more than her dad Kaitan Veigas. In Konkani dad’s/father’s sisters are called “Akai”. As a thumb rule in our Konkani culture we never address our elders or seniors with their names, so Karmin Akai was always called or referred Odli Akai or permudachi Akai!

Among all of my relatives I found in Karmin Akai something different and unique. She was a woman of great faith and patience, a lady with kind words, affectionate and impeccable in diligence, in other words, a lady with a good nurtured holy soul. A woman who loved her relatives, neighbours and strangers alike. She bore 10 children and of whom three consecrated themselves to the religious life - two Nuns and a Carmelite priest. 

As growing up in our home in Kallyaradda in Badyar, I would see Karmin Akai at least once a month who would come down to meet her ageing parents - my grand parents - who also were blessed with a long and healthy life.  (Being our home an ancestral house, grand parents lived in the same house.) She also brought along with her Estel Akai, her younger sister who lived in close proximity to her home in Permuda, under the Venur Catholic parish with her husband and children. Karmin Akai‘s arrival brought to us a lot of joy, not only her graciousness which filled our home and surrounding, but also made our teeth happy with cookies and sweets she carried along for us. My grand parents too would be extremely happy, as their eldest daughter whom they loved so much would bring them also two bottles of distilled water, while my dad now and then would bring prohibition or he himself would make a vow to stop his childhood hobby but allowed the generousity of his eldest sister without any restrictions as he too respected and loved his Odle Bai. 

Karmin Akai, also, was very dear to us because she was a matchmaker of my parents. Thus, she introduced my mom to my dad, which she often would tell us proudly. In fact, my mom came from her place, two kilometers from her residence . In fact, Karmin Akai liked the perfectionism and hard working nature of my mom and Akai  noticed this when my mom worked in her rice field . In other words, Akai felt an extra responsibility towards my parents in encouraging them in their life together as couples. 

Karmin Akai was also a woman of great faith. She had an immense fervour for spiritual things and would recite prayers with great diligence and rhythm. A few years ago, I did a recording of her description about our ancestral history and how she along with her siblings migrated to our present location Kallyar in Badyar from Madanthyar in 1950. She was 23 years old then. 

Whenever Karmin Akai came down to see her parents she also made a point to visit her 7 brothers with a brisk visit. She would encourage many of them to stop getting into alcoholism because of their over enthusiasm in brass band which her brothers owned and made them popular from Bantwal to Chickmagalur and nevertheless, brought in a lot financial credit.

I wish and pray that this saintly lady who touched me in so many ways by her gentle and affectionate nature may enjoy the heavenly bliss with that compassionate Lord and Master of us all.

Lenten reflections: The Mystery is Ever Before Us

Painting by Paul C Salins

We are in the Season of Lent, where we delve deeper into the mystery of Christ’s suffering, death and resurrection.  Just like that Samaritan woman we will also be opening up our emptiness of human frailty before the great mystery of life and death, solace and suffering.  Perhaps we could ask ourselves whether we are ready to forgo just like that Samaritan woman our sense of guilt and helplessness before our sinful nature?  Can we be people of caring and ready to help those people who are in most need of us to quench their either physical or spiritual thirst or hunger?

Lent is a time to forgo something that would enhance either our life in the spirit or our human life in general.  Could we think about intensifying or enhancing our life by forgoing those attachments or things which do not allow us to live in the Spirit or with one another?

Mortality is ever present before us

Existential questions leave us perplexed. Human mortality is one of them. Anxiety is part and condition of our existence. The question of mortality makes aware that we are just visitors or pilgrims in this world. Our life is short and uncertain. The time that we have passed is perhaps longer than what we have for the future. Strangely we do not know what comes next and when would be our last moment, last word, last meal or last conversation with our beloved. But one thing is certain that end comes and unfortunately none of us may delay or prevent it. When a person suffers for a long time with a disease which is chronic, and curable medicine is still far from being invented the thought of mortality becomes ever more active and forefront in front of the suffering. In such desperate situations one has to learn to live ones life to the fullest. If there is moment to laugh one has to laugh, if there is moment to weep at the pain or suffer you someone, one has to be ready to shed ones tears of comfort and suffocate. Nothing that should allow us to lose the moment of our life. Every moment becomes precious in such situations of our volatile life.

In pursuit of happiness

The question of what is the pursuit of happiness is an old age question.  Happiness is what every human being craves for.  Happiness is what is here and what is not here, it is already and not yet, a kind of eschatological question.  We might think that our happiness lies here and now.  But actually we might not have been in that situation at that time at all.  Therefore the pursuit of happiness comes to torment us.  The pursuit of happiness perhaps may be our craving, our interest, our goal of life. This does not take place until and unless we are in it.  Immersing oneself info the pursuit of happiness is an herculean task.  A person's happiness cannot be borrowed or bought from someone else. Happiness is felt within the heart and soul of the person.  Others might be of some help in the pursuit of happiness.  Ultimately the person him/herself has to seek it, try to get it.  Because each moment or day is free to determine his or her freedom in pursuit of happiness.  There are no boundaries or parameters in the pursuit of happiness.  A person with chronic IBD will have to pursue his or her happiness within one’s stark reality of pain, distress and depression.  But there are all the possibilities of realising one's dream of being happy.  In pursuing one's desire to happiness within those life conditions will lead to happiness in some sense or the other.  No one can deny or measure one's happiness.  Ultimately there is a beginning for every effort.  The first step begins with one's readiness to embark on a long and challenging journey.

God is magnanimous and generous

Introduction to the Holy Mass with Superior General of Jesuits Rev. Fr Arturo Sosa on 26-02-2018 at Mount St Joseph, Bangalore. 

A warm welcome to you my dear brothers.  And we are gathered together along with our Superior General Fr Arturo Sosa and his three General Assistants to celebrate this fraternal thanksgiving at this Holy Eucharist of our Lord Jesus Christ.  We are indeed very glad that we could be together as sons of One Father.  And we thank the Lord for giving us this wonderful opportunity to feel one with the whole body of the Society because it is God who has called us to this minima Compagnia.  Therefore, only to him be glory and praise - soli Deo Gloria.  The readings of today put us in right perspective that the creator deals with creature directly and in a unique personal way.  God is great and to be feared and each individual is called to keep the commandments of covenant and be compassionate towards others.  Lent once again summons us to listen: To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God.  He is magnanimous and generous and we have to be so to our brothers and sisters.  We pray for this grace at the Holy Eucharist today.

Beautiful things happen in life

Many beautiful things happen in our life. They come and go but continue to live on in our memory. 14 of our young Novices received their Jesuit Cassock and wore them for the first time in their life. They were also confirmed with the minor orders of Accolyte and Lector at the simple Eucharistic celebration held on Monday, 12th of February 2018 at Mount St Joseph, Bangalore.  The seven Second Year Novices organised the liturgy by incorporating a few creative aspects to this religious celebration which made the whole event a blissful one. All the 21 Novices had smiles on their faces as they felt equal to each other in certain sense of the word. The new Ministerial Orders will make the Novices more closer to the alter in the parishes they serve and certainly a step nearer towards their goal of taking their personal vocation to the priesthood seriously. 

Take one day at a time

Ulcerative Colitis brings to oneself a lot of surprises unfortunately rarely pleasant ones. Therefore unpleasant things which continue to happen is part of the game of this disease. Since the disease is chronic you are not sure when that unfortunate time will begin to bother you. It could be any day or anytime including evening or early wee hours of the morning. There is no definite time or certainty in anything. Probably only certainty that you would have is the worst things that might come like bleeding, uncontrollable bowel movements, weakness including an anaemic state, lack of appetite, fever, pain or cramps in the stomach, loss of energy and strength including inability to walk. The best principle for a person who is suffering from the IBD is to take one day at a time! 

Helplessness when health begins to play...

I never imagined three years ago (since 2014), the digestive problem might cause such a havoc in my life that I would be incapacitated to take up any jobs or responsibilities with confidence.  Those who have ulcerative colitis will agree with me.  This chronic disease is still a nightmare...strange thing is that this disease brings you helplessness in abundance.  A sheer lack of confidence simply engulfs your already helpless situation.

Often this depressing situation could be won over by encouraging yourself like being positive about oneself and others, unstinted confidence to go and look for something that brightens you up, make a habit of listening to music that you like most, reading books if there is energy, taking short walks, doing short meditations, and deep breathings, and so forth.  However taking long and brisk walks are discouraged as it would lead to weaken oneself  because of ones lack of energy or state of anaemia or burning of extra calories which are already depleted in the body. However, there is no point in overdoing anything that I mentioned above. 

IBD Day: Joys and Sorrows

I gave a short a speech at the function organized by the PVS Memorial Hospital, Ernakulam on the 21st May 2017 to commemorate the IBD day. This day is marked in order to bring awareness of Inflammatory Bowel Diseases. More than 300 people including, doctors, nurses, staff, patients and their families participated in this program which was well organized. This occasion gave me an opportunity to say something about my own struggles with IBD in particular Ulcerative Colitis over the years and how I have been able live with it in spite of its ups and downs.  Here is my audio recording of the speech.

IBD Day Speech at PVS Memorial Hospital, Ernakulam 21.05.2017